RetributionX:Whinging midgets and Halloween
by Anything but ordinary3
Summary: Okay theyre back and this time its halloween and Xaviers got an unusual assignment for them!! Insane Retribution X capers as usual!! Please come in and give it a try, you might be surprised!! R&R!! I'll try to stop using exclamation marks too, i promise!!
1. Bad Xavier

**Disclaimer: I own nuffink only my brain and my teacher says that even that is debatable!! (Okay some of the characters namely Kat, Ash, Ev and Mel are my own)**

Thanks to all you lovely people who review don't worry theres not going to be that many more Retribution X fictions (okay about 5) but I'm definatley gonna say goodbye to them sometime in the near future!! So to NCSGirl, Oracles Maiden, and Red haired she devil thank you for your help and reviews. Also to the newly returned DarktheDestroyer and ZilentZombie thank you for reviewing me and please (if you are reading this) continue to do so, everyones support is invaluable.

**As a brief overview this is just one in a long series (ok it's the 9th) of fanfictions about Retribution X it is not compulsory to read the others before you read this but I sure would love it if you did, oh and please review people!! Many thanks!!**

I am in no way condoning underage drinking through this fanfiction but if you don't like the idea of it scarper!!

For those of you brave enough to stay enjoy the ride.

**Retribution X: Whinging Midgets and Halloween**

"You did what?" I stared at the bald man angrily

"I volunteered for you to take the younger members of the academy trick or treating and hold a party for them afterwards!"

I paused "Do you really think this is a good idea? I wouldn't let Kat near them if I was you she frightening enough at our age but she'd give little kids nightmares!"

"Surely that is the intention of Halloween?"

"Great I'd rather fight Magneto then look after them unruly brats! In fact I'd rather be buried for life under Scuzzlebutt poo with _Kat for the rest of my life!!" I glowered "and you expect __me to go back to the wing and inform my team mates, many of whom are mentally unstable, of your little plan!"_

"Yes I do you are there leader!"

I sighed "Okay but I will not be held responsible for anyone's reactions especially not Kats or Wolverines!" I said backing out of the room 

**Retribution X's wing**

"So you want us to take those whinging midgets?" Kat asked which was kind of hypocritical of her after all we'd be taking her too.

"The children? Yes" I sighed sadly

"What the hell does he think he's doing snickt I think it's time a bit of adamantium taught him that he doesn't mess with the Wolverine and get away with it!" He said charging out of the room.

"MMmm...he took that better then I thought" I said

"I don't know what's wrong with you guy's I think it'll be fun! Think of all the candy!" Jubes said gleefully.

I don't know if I've ever mentioned that to me eating is a chore not something to be made fun so this idea did not appeal to me at all.

"We get to dress up!!" Kat remembered clapping her hand's together

I groaned I'd forgotten about that, I hated dressing up, in fact being English I really failed to see the point in Halloween, I saw it as glorified begging. But hell, this was the closest thing to a mission we'd had a whiff of in ages and this was certainly going to be quite difficult. Hopefully nothing we couldn't handle though.

**Halloween**

"Argh! Scott take off the mask!!!" I said jumping

"I haven't got one on!"

 Kat tugged at Scott's double chin 

"It's his face" she said when no mask came off

"Oh!" I said surprised "Have you had botox?" I smiled winningly

"Ohh Jean you've come as Gwyneth Paltrow…." I looked at Jean "…in 'Shallow Hal' …" I looked at the irate look on Jeans face "…or not!"

"What are you going as?" Scott asked both me and Kat

"Well I'm going to go as the scariest thing I know!" I said

"Ditto!" Kat grinned

**An hour later**

I walked down the stairs carrying 6 forks (Prof X removed all of our knives for Kats protection).

"I told you I was coming as the scariest thing I know!" I said as everyone stopped and stared at me adorned in my stolen Wolverine costume that was much too big for skinny little me.

I looked at Kat, I had feared that the age old Chitty Chitty Bang Bang outfit would get an airing however Kat had surpassed herself by coming dressed as a ladder (the thing she was more scared of then Wolverine, it was a  toss up between that and sinks though). Evelyn and Jubes had come as a cigarette and a lighter respectively, people joked that Wolverine would try to smoke Ev before the night had ended.  Mel had come dressed as a painting complete with frame and was currently trying to fit through the door with Beast (who'd come as a Twinkie and Murray mint monster…at least I hoped he was meant to look like that) giving her a helpful shove.

I looked around to scout out Wolverine and see both what he thought of my costume and what he was wearing…but he was no where to be seen.

"Do I scare ya that much kid?" came a voice close to my ear so close I could feel his breath on my neck

"No you're a pussy cat really!" I said turning around to look at him as he mock purred "So you came as a cowboy then?"

His purr turned quickly into a growl "Oh!" I said with insight "It's one of those times when you haven't actually changed into a costume and I've put my foot in it isn't it?"

He nodded before looking down at the forks I was brandishing between my fingers menacingly (well as menacingly as forks between the fingers can look).

"Humph! Where forks the best ya could do?" He asked quietly

"Short of ripping your claws out…yes" I said giving him a playful grin.

"Well I want you to look after yourself tonight I'll be here in the party with my com device on if you need anything!"

"So your leaving me with the responsibility of the X-Brats _and Kat…that's harsh what did I do to upset you that much?" I never usually back chatted Wolverine but I wanted this evening over with a.s.a.p and if it had to end through my death… well so be it. "Or are you scared of a few lil' runts?" I teased_

"Just get goin' kid" but he didn't say it angrily

I walked over to where the girls where chatting clutching there drinks for dear life, downing them for Dutch courage.

"You ready to be lead to your death?" I asked them

"Death by chocolate" Jubes giggled

I rolled my eyes into my head 'and these were the mature ones?!' I thought grimly


	2. Attacked!

**See chapter 1 for disclaimer etc**

**On the streets**

"Trick or treat!!"

I watched as Kat and Jubes did a circuit of the neighbourhood solo while me, Mel and Ev kept an eye on the kids (who surprisingly were better behaved than Kat!!) 

I watched horrified as I saw a familiar pair walk down the road towards Kat and Jubes- Blob and _PYRO!!_

"Right everybody back to the mansion for alcohol!!" I instructed and watched triumphantly as all my team hurried of down the road bustling the kids in front of them.

Kat stopped suddenly and began throwing fireballs at Pyro who instantly threw them back at her. This drew the attention of the younger children and they instantly began a full scale attack on Pyro, sweets n treats forgotten.

I grabbed Kat who struggled "A little help here people!" I yelled at the girls indicating at the children

**5 minutes later**

Everything seemed to be under control and Pyro and Blob were retreating hastily.

"We sure showed them!" said one of the children known only as Bounce

"Ummm…White lightning where are our sweets?" a small boy asked tugging on my Wolverine costume

I knew Blob had looked heavily laden but I had just thought he had put more weight on "Umm..Blob!"

"After them!" Kat screamed

"Oh no I knew this was a bad idea" I muttered chasing after the rabble.

**Back at the R.X wing**

"Right you kid's are going to stay in our wing and amuse yourselves because you don't deserve to be allowed to go to the party!" I reprimanded

The kids looked surprised but what the hell did they expect after causing a full scale riot which ended with the police getting involved. In a moment of weakness Jubes had contacted Wolverine who had hit the roof and demanded that we come back and as punishment paint the Blackbird. Typical huh? Why is it every holiday I spend with these girls something always goes wrong resulting with punishment?

"Come on you 4 to the Blackbird." I ordered

"What about you?" 

"I'm going to do some trick or treating of my own." I said stalking off towards the main mansion

Knock Knock

"Who's dere?" 

"Trick or Treat?"

"Gambit wanna know how you got to his room" came a muffled voice from behind the door which opened slowly.

I stood grinning hands held out, I knew what Gambit would give out it had been the same for the last 2 years.

"Dere you go"

I blinked at him "Is that all? Even Wolverine gave us more than that!" I lied

"Okay okay dere ave all of Gambit's supply dere's plenty at da party anyway" Gambit said handing me 5 bottles of his tequila

"Thank you" I said before walking off "oh and by the way who's in your room with you?" I asked looking back over my shoulder at him

Gambit merely blushed before shutting the door

**In the Blackbird hanger**

"I've brought refreshments!!"

"Oh goody!!"

**2 hours later**

"Finished!" Mel slurred triumphantly

"Yay!!" I said looking up at the Blackbird now painted a fetching hue of purple with nice lime green spots on.

"Itsss bueat-if-ful" Jubes said in wonderment like a small child

"_Help!!"_ I heard Kat cry

"Where is she?" Ev asked

"Come out come out wherever you are!" 

**3 minutes later**

"Where _is _she??" 

"Oh look theres a big bubble in the paint work!" Ev pointed out before I hit up side the head

"That's Kat you idiot!"

Kat it appears had become stuck to the wet paint in a similar manner to a beetle. 'Oh gawd!' I thought slapping my forehead tempted to just leave her there but decided that wouldn't be fair on whoever had to use the Blackbird next.

"Get her down!" I instructed wearily.

**At our door**

_"It's in his kiss, that's where it is,_

_oh__ yeah or is it in his eye's…"_

The voice sounded as suspiciously tone death as Kats I turned; I looked over my shoulder to see that she was still with us, albeit smelling of turpentine.

"Maybe they've moved the party into here" Mel mused

 I opened the door to be greeted by a sight befitting Halloween, it was horrifying, it was devastating, it was drunken X-Brats.

"Where the hell did they get the alcohol?" Ev asked almost angrily 

I shrugged guiltily I had a feeling me stash from under my bed that helped me to sleep had been raided but I said nothing. We could always blame this on Gambit. We watched in horror as the 10 children (ranging from ages 7-13) we had been put in charge of ran around leaving destruction in their wake, sang Karaoke and threw up in pot plants.

"Oh no…their just like us!!" Mel breathed.

_"Ruuunnn!"__ I instructed and we did just that._


	3. The joys of babysitting

In the safety of the danger room we sat down and considered the options open to us.

"We could tell Wolvie!" Jubilee suggested

  "and face death!"

"We could go back in there and try to clean up" Mel put in

"…and face death."

"We could leave it for someone else to find" Ev piped up

"…and again face death"

"Ash you know you're not being very helpful have you got any better suggestions?" Jubes said angrily arms folded across her chest.

"No but I think I could toss a plan of sorts together" I said before looking at Mel "Who's officially seeing the brats to bed tonight?" I asked her

"Kurt and Storm I think."

"Okay you go sweet talk the two of them and tell 'em we'll put the lil buggers to bed for 'em." I instructed watching Mel run off almost happily. I looked at the others "You're all coming with me!"

**Back in R.X's Wing**

I looked at the devastation left behind them "They've moved on to the upper floor's of the building" I observed grimly 

Kat ran off into the kitchen. While the most holy among us (Evelyn) got down on her knees and made a pact with god "If you let us see the end of this alive we promise we will be normal for the rest of our lives!!"

Just as Evelyn got back up off the floor Kat ran into the room with her butt on fire.

I sighed "We'll never be normal!"

**Upstairs.******

"Jubes, Kat you take the ones that seem okay (i.e. they can walk and aren't being sick) and take them back to their rooms" I instructed, I was much too drunk to be thinking of battle plans. I looked at my team mates as I heard a squeal capable of perforating eardrums and noticed that Kat was missing.

_"When you're alone and life is making you lonely_

_You can always go…"_

Kat held her microphone out to the audience but no one sang back to her she carried on oblivious and tried again, and again no one responded now she frowned. When Kat tried for audience participation for a 3rd time and got no reply it just go too much for her!

"GOD! YOU'RE ALL SO IMMATURE" She screamed before running sobbing out of the room.

'Hmmm…and a fun time was had by al' I thought indicating for Jubes to get her and get on with her job.

**In Wolverines bedroom**

"Aim for the toilet! AIM FOR THE TOILET!!" I yelled at the younger children

"I'm back, and they didn't need much convincing by the way" Mel said voice trailing off as she looked around Wolverines bedroom a scene of 2 of the older children throwing up in his room.

"Why did you bring them in here? Wolverine will smell the sick a mile away!" Mel asked

"I didn't bring them in here they were already in h…awww not in his drawer!" I groaned.

"Christ is that the time!" I exclaimed looking at the clock Wolverine said he'd be back in ¾'s of an hour! I'll go drop these kid's off in their room, and can you 2 clean this mess up while I go try way lay Wolverine!"

They nodded they knew they had the better job.

**In the Brat's room **

I looked out of the window. "Okay which one of you erected that giant paper mache penis on the lawn?" I asked blushing at my use of phrasing

The sleepy kids looked back at me innocently "It wasn't us it was Scott and Morph"

"Oh that's okay then!" I said relieved "I don't want you to make any noise today and any problems you come see us okay?"

The nodded

"Oh and them two shouldn't be sick any more but if they do come and ask specifically for Jubes" 

I left them then in search of Wolverine and thought of a plan to way lay him


	4. The Wolverine returns!

**In the party**

I had infiltrated the party security system (okay I walked through the door but it doesn't sound as dramatic) and had eye's firmly locked onto my target. I needed some Dutch courage before I approached him so I grabbed another drink (even though rational thought was already becoming difficult). I looked at him over the top of my glass as he watched Jean dance with Scott; jeez if his tongue was hanging out so far I'm surprised it didn't get carpet burn.

I walked unsteadily over to him.

"You alright kid?" He asked worriedly

I nodded feeling slightly stupid I knew I probably stunk of puke.

I sat beside him silently and watched as his jaw tensed and untensed as he watched Jean glide elegantly in the arm's of the X-men's fearless leader.

"How where the kids?" He asked turning his attention away from the red head (who was gaining weight to the extent that rumour had it she was pregnant-so what if the rumour began with Jubes!)

"Okay except for the riot" I said taking a sip of my drink, I felt stupidly nervous

"How did ya get on paintin' the blackbird?"

I gulped just how much did he know? "Okay"

I felt immensely sad as I watched Jean spin in Scott's arms knowing that I could never have that kind of relationship with anybody, because you would need trust and that was something that had been stripped from me on Valentines Day, it felt like an age ago even though it hadn't even been a year. Loyalty, honesty, trust seemed nothing but a sham to me now. I suddenly felt incredibly old, wise but in an unhappy almost twisted manner. I felt the back of my eye's prickle with tears which I fought back, hell I was drunk that was the only reason I wanted to cry…at least that's what I told myself.

"I'm am not weak!" I murmured inaudibly reminding myself why I shouldn't cry.

"I never said ya were" I had forgotten about Wolverines hearing

I ignored him thinking back to Valentines Day, something I tried so hard to forget. My heart felt like stone, it was like I couldn't breathe I felt panic rise in the pit of my stomach. I had to get of there.

I got up and walked as fast as I could to the terrace. I griped the white banister in an iron grip and gulped in air like someone who'd just broken to the surface of the water after being submerged for almost too long. I don't know how long I stood there just staring blankly ahead trying to forget.

Warm breath on my neck brought me back to reality.

"What's wrong with ya kid?"

"Don't you ever give up?" I asked tiredly I just wanted to give up.

"Talk to me!" he demanded

"I'm drunk and I feel sick!" I lied

"Don't lie to me you know better than that!" He growled "Now tell me"

I sighed "I probably wouldn't tell you this if I wasn't drunk but everyone likes to think I'm fixed, but I'm not, I probably never will be." I knew that he was gonna think I was weird; I knew he'd forgotten about Valentines Day.

"I know kid I know" I was surprised by the sympathetic tone in his voice.

"Some time's I feel like I'm screaming at the top of my lungs and no ones listening then I realise it's too late." I looked down at my hands still gripping the white banister

"Too late?" He sounded puzzled

"Too late for me to ever be normal, too late for me to ever me more than a mediocrity, too late for me to ever fit into Xavier's perfect plan, to late for me to ever find someone to love the imperfections take your pick" I said bitterly spinning around to look at the man who was only an inch taller than myself. I suddenly felt stupid I never, _NEVER _spoke about how I was feeling. Bloody drink I cursed! It made me let my guard down

"Don't think that kid, don't ever think that!" He sounded angry now

"Look ignore that I'm just drunk…."

"A dunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts!"

"Your to darn short to be turning in to Hank" I joked but no one laughed  

I turned to leave but he grabbed my wrist 

"You ain't any of those things you know!"

"What things? A mediocrity, a cock tease, a stupid fool who can't control herself and drinks to forget." I looked at him angrily "You know I'm all of the above!!"

"A cock tease?"

"Why else did he rape me, I lead him on I kissed _him!"_

_"_"That isn't true, it ain't your fault the punk couldn't take no for an answer!"

"Even _if _that was true I'm still tainted, dirty ol', used goods!"

"Is that really how you see yourself?" He looked at me sadly trying to hug me

"Don't you dare pity me!" I yelled "I don't need your pity! I am what I am and I have to deal with that myself!! I don't need anyone else."

I marched off into the garden shrouded by darkness "Don't follow me!" I yelled sensing him about to make a move to chase after me "_Please!"_

**On the terrace**

I stared after her dumbfounded. I never knew the girl was capable of this much emotion let alone _concealing_ it. To me (and even her team-mates) she was always calm collected Ashley's who's only emotion was mild anger, she seemed untouchable almost like the world around her could collapse and she would be unaffected, she'd adjust, the way she always did. I thought she had adjusted this time… I really did but it was all an act. I felt like both the betrayed and the betrayer, I should have realised but she should have…could have told me. Was I really that unapproachable? I thought we were pal's, I remembered her use of my name _"…Logan…" _just before she left for England it felt so warm. I had penetrated her brisk, business like, aloof shell…then she had come back and it was plain ol' Wolverine again. 

I looked after her into the dark night, I wanted to go confront her, corner her so she would open up and let all that pain seep away but I knew that would be the worst thing to do, it would make me almost as bad as _him forcing her to do something against her will and that ain't my style. I walked back to the Retribution X wing and knew that when she wanted to talk she would have to come to me, in the same breath I knew that that might be never._

I opened the door and the smell of puke hit me.

"Ashley thank god your back…" Jubes said skidding to a halt in front of me "Oh hi Wolvie I thought you was Ashley, would you like something to drink?" She asked chirpily

"Nah thanks kiddo I just want to sleep" I said heading for the stairs

"Say Wolvie you sure you wouldn't rather sleep in your old room back with the X-men tonight?" The kid looked shifty

"No" I growled getting to the top of the stairs; I bet she didn't want me going back to my room I said flinging open the door. They'd sure done a good job tidying the place up but I could smell vomit, it hung in the air like heavy velvet I covered my nose. There were no visible traces of the sick save the faint marks on the floor where they had scrubbed it clean, I was surprised in their drunken state that they hadn't used bleach or something hair brained like that.

I followed my nose to my drawers, which apparently they had over looked, I felt a berserker rage coming on but I was going to be calm for the sake of Ashley who no doubt instigated the clean up plan.  

 SNICKT "Jubilee oh Jubilee!" I shouted in my best macho sing song voice.


End file.
